Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
