does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
