My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm like, not good at living.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
