I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
