I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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