After last night, I could never be a politician.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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