New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
