Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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