I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
