Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
