You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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