If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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