I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
