i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
