Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
