Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
