My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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