i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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