Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Swine flu. Run for my life!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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