i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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