So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
