I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
