Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
