its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
