kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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