I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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