I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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