Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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