covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
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