She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
