Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
