The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
