THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
