tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
