Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
