I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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