Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
