Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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