yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
