I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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