I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
