12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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