Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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