His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
