It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
