I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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