i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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