A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
