Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
