Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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